There are old stories of how folks would discourage miscreant behaviour in small towns across the western frontier during the 1800’s. It’s been said that sometimes gunslingers were forced to check their weapons with the local sheriff’s office while they wet their whistles at the neighbouring saloon. Failure to do so could result in outlaws being stripped of their pistols, beaten and run out of town. It seems that guns and drinking were considered a bad mix that might compromise the general safety of the community. Sounds like the kind of vigilante justice the Wild West came to personify in Hollywood movies, but it’s hardly a practical solution to problems in the modern world… right?

In her new book, “Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age”, renowned media scholar Sherry Turkle , professor of Science, Technology and Society at M.I.T., explores how modern technological advances like cell phones, texts and e-mails are compromising the art of conversation and undermining our relationships, creativity and productivity. She isn’t suggesting physical violence to fix the problem, but she’s passionate about what she believes is the solution: when conversing with another human being, check your cell phone, tablet and computer at the door, look them in the eye, and be emotionally present with them in real conversation!

In a recent New York Times essay, professor Turkle explains how technology is disconnecting us from our own humanity because we are not paying attention to one another during our personal, face-to-face conversations and exchanges. People are dropping in and out of their social interactions as they try to “stay connected” to the world outside of the people right in front of them. We’ve all experienced it. In fact, we’re often guilty of it. We shift our gaze and our attention from the person we are with to our mobile device. We claim that it isn’t a problem because we’re adept at “multi-tasking”, as if that somehow excuses the ill-mannered rudeness of turning our attention away from a conversation with someone who is actually present with us.

But Turkle found that in order to do this effectively, we employ a mental strategy that compromises the quality of our social interactions – we keep both our conversations and texts simple and superficial. While this tactic might have some merit in organizing our daily tasks at home and at work, it is not effective at making meaningful connections with another human being. It can severely damage our ability to empathize with others… to remotely sense, even on a primitive level, someone else’s thoughts and feelings. That ability is essential to the most basic forms of civility and enlightenment, and it’s becoming a lost art. Worst of all, the epidemic is infecting our youth. Children as young as 8 years old are being found to respond “robotically” in social situations. Others are showing significant developmental delays in their social/emotional skills because they can’t read the social cues of peers.

And it’s not just empathy that is being negatively affected. The research suggests when we split our attention between our cell phones and our conversations, we reduce the complexity of our communications to compensate. Open-ended dialogue, where ideas and concepts are debated and thought out, is sacrificed. It’s easier to multitask social and technological interaction if we keep their depth and profoundness simple and shallow. But while our texts and tweets may benefit from minimalism and superficiality, neither one is a healthy ingredient in strategic planning or deep, cerebral engagement with others.

But not all is lost. When technological adversities force us to confront our core human values, it presents us with an opportunity to reaffirm what those values really are. Ms. Turkle believes that by checking our cell phones at the door, we can reclaim the art of face-to-face conversations and reverse the negative trends. As a family, we can begin to designate family times that are device free – meals, car rides, bed-time stories. We can benefit from all that technology has to offer without being held hostage by it. And the beauty of it all is, we have everything we need to reclaim lost ground in our human relationships – the opportunity to reach out to and truly be with one another.