They say you are not given anything in life you cannot handle yet losing my son has shaken me to my core. The  morning of September ninth will be forever etched as a dark day of shock, sadness and anger. The  overwhelming feeling of loss harbours deep within and often overtakes my entire being leaving me  dysfunctional and exhausted. I read that grief never ends…but it changes, it is a passage, a place not to stay, it  is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith….it is the price of love.

I miss Evan; his smile, his enthusiastic and contagious big laugh, his warmth, his love and his generous, happy  heart. My son loved life, family and friends. He was fiercely loyal to those he loved and believed in. If Evan  loved you, he loved you always. In him a friend forever.

Evan taught me unconditional love. Being my first born, he made me a mommy. I remember so many wonderful loving moments with Evan as a youngster, a teen and as a young man, always filled with great enthusiasm and joy. He loved me deeply and held great respect for my chosen career, sharing me with many, many children throughout the years. Evan loved Wee College and children, wanting the best for all.

Recently, as I was reading his journals I came across a proposal he wrote about starting a Wee Camp Program complete with program ideas, a parcel of land on a river front and a cost break down for the start up. He truly loved Wee and felt it to be destined for more. Many have written and commented on how strong I am, yet it truly is not my own will nor strength that has kept me going. It is Evan’s and his joy of life; it is my daughter Chrissy and her need to feel I am here; it is the strength of Wee College and those that rely on us to nurture and love those who walk through our doors. My journey is not alone as I believe God is with me and that he has a reason and a purpose for this walk yet unknown. I may not like nor understand the reason yet my faith will sustain me in full knowledge that our love will never die and I will see my son again. Even as a man Evan loved to recall stories we read together when he was a child. Stories like I’ll Love You Forever, Olivier Twist, Goosebumps and the Tales of Winnie the Pooh to name a few. I love and end this Blog with a quote from Winnie the Pooh as I feel Evan speaking directly to me through the words. “If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you” The Love between a Parent and a child is forever Melody